Word Colonies, Messenger Thoughts, 2M Love, and Seditious Cheerleaders

The Messenger arrived yesterday...

I didn't understand her.

She opened a satchel of letters and torn pages, dumped them at my feet and then disappeared.

I started to look through them, but eventually gave up.

My brain still feels like silly putty, and I'm wondering how a person can feel numb and inspired at the same time?

I don't understand this place...

What is this?

What is this situation?

How can you define something that you can't understand?

Everyday I feel both grateful and stuck in this enticing, yet slightly nightmarish perpetual limbo.

I started to write yesterday, but wasn't too crazy with the results.

"No bad writing, no bad writing, no bad writing." I tell myself as I clackety clack the backspace button more times than I would like to admit.

So I shelved my lack of whimsical word colonies, and the confusion with my messenger; and tried to pay attention to life's details.

Twilight shining on the plants in my windows...

The slightly overpowering love that I have for Fage greek yogurt with honey...

That sinking feeling when I fall into to the goose down mattress in my magical tree bed...

These are all good things, and I have them every-damn-day.

While focusing on these specific trivialities my messenger disappeared, and returned the next day.

This time her message was clear.

I was on the treadmill listening to Sleigh Bells, kicking the shit out of that machine when I heard a voice softly say:

"You're pushing me too hard....you're pushing me too hard....you're pushing me too hard."

(((B...rE..aK...Th...Ro....uGh..)))

And now I'm quiet. And now I'm still. And now I'm humbled, and I think I'm taking this life business a bit too seriously.

I have J. who holds my hand, listens to me, runs his fingers through my hair (so much so that it drives me CrAzY! And then he just laughs when I start flinching away like a cat)

I have my girlfriends, who are seditious cheerleaders!

Not the lame ones, but the cool ones that bite boys, slam tequila shots with you, and have guidebooks on throwing away guidebooks.
I have my guy friends, who all happen to be writers.
They're witty, they're bRoKeN, they're strong, and they're funny as hell!

And I have my family. Always. In happiness and in grief, those roots stand.

2M love, forever...

My messenger has opened my perspective, and now I feel lighter.

I think I'll stop complaining that there's no ground.

What do I need ground for anyway? I'm an air sign, it's overrated =)

So tonight I'm going to pLaY. (I'm not going to think about work)

Tonight I'm going to take a mermaid bath. (After drowning my inner critic)

Tonight I'm going to dream. (No nightmares, only naughty dreams about my loov-ah =)

And tonight I will burn sage for my messenger. It was so kind of her to come.

May you all be visited by the creatures of your imaginations, and the guardians of your dream worlds to remind you that you are magnificent and the hero of your own sToRy.

(And maybe to stop being so serious all the time)

Learn from children. They know everything...until they get a bit older.

*sprinkle sprinkle*